Menachem Mendel Hendels little useful idiots
Boy is WIS glad Collive was the one that bought THIS subject up.
The night before Collive posted the above op-ed a long time Crown Heights resident related the following to me.
This photo has nothing to do with the subject matter
I was shopping in a store on Kingston Ave. when I noticed a young man with a Yechi Kippa entering the store. I recognized the young man from the few times I went to the Shomrim Six trial. This young man came to court (as a friend to the so called “victims”) quite a few times. I decided to stake him out. I noticed him taking some sushi, he then sat down, eat and when finished simply (without even cleaning up) got up and left.
I approached the owner of the store and pointed out what I had just witnessed. The owner asked me if the Theft had a Yechi Kippa which I replied yes. The owner then said “if he had a Yechi Kippa then I don’t want to do anything, these kids steal all the time, if I say or do anything they will come riot at the store and I don’t want that”.
Another group of Mishichistim were sitting at a nearby table noticed what had just taken place (the conversation between myself and the store owner), so they also just got up and left (in middle of their meal) without paying”
The owner then pointed and complained, “see, they all do this everyday, what can I do?”
The previous owner of Empire Grill went out of business because Mishichist Tzfati Mossrim would come there almost nightly to party without pay. The Shmira Mesira would follow in the same manner.
WIS is sure that many businesses when making their accounting’s at the end of the mouth will find big losses.
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From an e-mail:
“Two years ago my bother in-law (then 15) came for Tishrei “to be by the Rebbe”. It goes without saying that he stayed by us.
One day he comes home with a few car emblems, I ask him where he got themand he replies that someone on his “mivtzyim” rout gave it to him. Ok, I believe him, after all he is my wife’s brother; a Jew; and did come to “the Rebbe”.
But when he shows up the next day and the next day after that with more (including two Jaguar emblems), I said to my wife something is fishy here and we must get to the bottom of this.
Since it was after all my wife’s brother, I asked of her to interrogate him as to where he really picked up all those emblems.
Turns out, his friend was taking them/stealing them from cars on the street and he being a collector paid him a few dollars for them.
Out of principle I took all the emblems from him and put them away. I was thinking of putting up a notice on the web sites informing anybody who may have “lost” their emblems to reach me to retrieve it back. I was however advised that that course of action would not be a good idea. I was told that it would turn out that I was holding stolen property and an investigation could take place etc…V’dal.
Sorry about your loss!”
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Those who have young brother in-laws or cosines that have in the past or currently come to New York for the holidays have probably heard first hand many glorious stories of theft, damage, sex etc…
Did you know that during the month of Tishrei, Old Navy has a special deal for the “Archim” that come to the “Shchuna”?
It’s %100 off of everything in the store.
Let’s be fair.
Is it only Mishichistim that steal?
No, but those who do, might as well consider themselves Mishichist.
Is it only the guest that steal?
Absolutely not.
The difference?
Usually when it happens it’s on an individual scale, not an organized effort. Meaning: When these guest come they come with this attitude that it’s all free and they are entitled to what they take (they have a Hechsher). Like I wrote above, some guest will even brag about what they stole or what their so called friends stole.
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Now, to all those naive children who wrote comment like…. or anything to this effect…
The Invisible Theft
When the Torah says don’t steal, Don’t kill, Don’t lay with an animal etc…etc… whose the Torah talking to?
Its talking to the frum Jew learning from the holy Torah, the guy with the big beard, who prays 3 times a day with a Minun, who might even go to Mikva everyday etc…
The guy not learning does not know what it says (as far as hes concerned hes not breaking any rules). The lesson is, that even a frum Jew (learning torah) can steal, kill etc… otherwise why would the Torah have to tell him not to do these things, unless it was possible he could or would.
A challenge to those who say these naive statements.
Are you in essence saying that whomever steals is not Jewish (even if born from a Jewish mother)? Are you saying that if we find someone guilty of stealing he/she will become not Jewish?
That’s harsh.
If you told me that THESE MOSSRIM are not Jewish, we would understand, (for Jews are merciful, have pity etc…Mesira is the worse offense Jew can do etc…), but a common theft not being Jewish is to much, where your Ahavas Yisroel?
UPDATE 10/9/2011 ACTS OF VIOLENCE:
October 09 2011: WEEK OF TERROR: Beatings and Thefts by Tzfatis
Following Attacks, Rabbis Issue Letters
If you have a story to share please send using the comments bellow or send to whoisshmira.com
CHLEAKS 
September 20, 2010 at 6:50 pm |
What I would do to get video surveillance from a store like Kol Tov, Empire Kosher, Kahns, Sweet Expression, Judica world etc…
Just give me one days footage and I will find enough to post till next year.
September 20, 2010 at 11:12 pm |
it sounds crazy! I can’t believe something like this, but ,on the other hand, it would not make sense to you to say such things!
What is the echsher that they have? how it is possible that they think that stealing is Kosher? it is something that does not enter my mind!
September 23, 2010 at 8:15 pm |
Sense of Entitlement
I was indulging in an episode of Judge Judy when I heard an incredible example of a problem that I believe is ruining our homes, workplaces, and our very culture.
A mother, at the end of her rope, was suing her 24-year-old son for repayment of over $4000 she had loaned him (worse, from her credit card) to buy a car. She’d forgiven the first two car loans she had made him from her life savings, but now the credit card bills were pouring in. His impressive defense: “She owed this to me because the last car she bought me was a piece of (deleted)!”
This lovely gentleman’s attitude? Entitlement.
We expect young children to want what they want when they want it. But it doesn’t stop there.
“Everybody else is…”
“They all have…”
“If you really loved me…”
Teenagers are notorious for expecting the best of everything, despite parents’ financial realities. Too often parents are guilted into trying to meet every perceived need or into rescuing their troubled children instead of teaching responsibility.
Many adults whimper at the slightest inconvenience, delay, or restriction. Why? Because, like toddlers, they are convinced they deserve what they want when they want it.
Many of our workplaces are also poisoned with attitudes of entitlement.
In my work with organizations across the country, I hear words that are telltale symptoms.
“What have they done for me lately?”
“This company owes me more than this as an annual raise. After all, I put in my eight hours a day.” (Never mind performance.)
“They’re not being fair.”
(Would you like a little cheese with that whine?)
Let’s be honest with ourselves; it may not just be “they”. I’d like to inject realistic, healing ideas to inoculate us all from that poisonous “you owe me” disease.
September 21, 2010 at 3:33 pm |
Random thought: a sting operation? Plant some interesting-looking suitcases, with yummy stuff inside, and a few nondescript guys sprinkled around … davening shemoneh esreh, let’s say, with their eyes open …
September 23, 2010 at 8:28 pm |
Entitlement mentality – introduction
Are you erroneously thinking that the world owes you something? Are you looking to others to do something for you rather than focusing on what you can do for yourself?
It is very common for people to feel that those in authority or those that are successful owe them something. This kind of thinking can be seen in many situations. A good, but extreme, example would be the beggar in the street who feels that because you are driving a nice car you should give him something for a meal.
Coming closer to many people’s experience, another example would be the relative who feels that because you are well educated and have a good job you should take over his responsibility of seeing one or two of his children through school. Then there is the employee that feels entitled to a promotion because they have served long in an organization.
Entitlement mentality – no ones owes you anything
There is nothing intrinsically wrong with any of the examples I have given. But the fact is that even if I had a billion dollars it would be totally up to me to decide whether to give the beggar the money or whether to sponsor those children through school. Similarly if I were the owner of the company it would be totally up to me to decide whether to promote you based on your long service.
The bottom line is that whatever decision I would make in all these cases would be correct. I may be compelled to help you by my spiritual convictions and beliefs, but even that would be up to me, not you. The fact is that, apart from very few very specific cases, no one is entitled to anything from anyone.
Our dependence on the donor community is one area where we often feel entitled to the point of irrationality. We expect donors to give us resources to take care of many of our problems. But are we trying to raise these resources ourselves? Is there no form of enterprise we can undertake that would give us the required resources? Yes, the donors have money, but it’s their money. They are free to give it to whoever they please. What is required is not always more donor funding, what is required is more self reliance and initiative.
Entitlement mentality – you owe it to yourself
The only person that is responsible for getting you what you want in life is yourself. The entitlement mentality of thinking someone owes you something is one that you should not have.
The catchphrase on television these days seems to be “government should do something about it.” The government is called upon to take care of all manner of problems and whilst some are truly its responsibility, the majority are not. The majority are the individual and community’s responsibility.
However, the politicians don’t make it easy on themselves because rather than telling people that they are capable in one way or another of solving most of their own problems, they prefer to make huge promises they cannot deliver on even if they had the capability.
Entitlement mentality – a hard lesson
The problem of the entitlement mentality is so far reaching that even countries like the United States are facing massive problems because of it. Their health-care and pension systems are under enormous strain. They simply cannot afford to pay for all the people that are on these programmes. So much so that Donald Trump and Robert Kiyosaki have written about it in their book “Why We Want You to be Rich.”
In this book they say: “The best way to solve the problem of bad financial results is to change our thoughts…That means losing the entitlement mentality…If we do not stop expecting the government to take care of us, we will continue to have the same results – a bankrupt nation filled with well-educated but financially needy people.”
The fact that a country as developed as the US should fall into such a trap of promising its citizens it will take care of them in their old age and when they need health care and failing to deliver on it should be a lesson to every country and individual in the world.
You cannot depend on the government to take care of your every need. It is far better to empower yourself and to be able to take care of yourself in every way possible. But that is hardly what the politicians, and even the people, want to hear. Everyone wants an easy way out. Everyone wants someone else to take care of them and sort out their problems. A change of thinking is needed at all levels.
Entitlement mentality – get financially literate
In no single area is such a change of thinking required as in the area of financial literacy. The ability to make money and to make it work for you is an ability that will do you a world of good. Read the right books on financial literacy. Do a short course in accounting or investing or anything else around the subject. Attend seminars and workshops. Start a small business and learn how to manage and grow a business.
Do not leave your financial future in uncertain hands by trusting pension schemes, health schemes and a whole lot of other schemes that are not in your control. Just do something different from everyone else because, as Albert Einstein said, insanity is “doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”
Entitlement mentality – conclusion
The truth of it is that you are a person with everything to offer your country and the world. Yes there are problems out there, but there are also plenty of opportunities. Why are some succeeding in the same environment? What’s to stop you from succeeding?
Realize that you alone have ultimate power over your future and what happens or doesn’t happen to you. This should be a liberating and empowering thing. Take hold of it and use it well. The world owes you nothing. Don’t gamble your life away with the entitlement mentality.
You are all you can be. Go on and be it.
September 23, 2010 at 8:33 pm |
By Donald Sensing
Yesterday a woman pulled up to a Burlington Coat Factory store in Columbus, Ohio, in a stretch Hummer limousine. She debarked and announced to all around that she had just won a huge jackpot in a lottery and that she would buy everyone there up to $500 worth of goods. The AP tells what happened.
“Well, of course, people like to hear that,” Deakins said. “Apparently they were in line calling relatives who were not at the store and told them to come.”
People flooded the registers as cashiers began ringing up purchase after purchase, but Brown had not yet paid the bill, Deakins said. At least 500 people filled the aisles and another 1,000 were outside trying to get in, he said.
But the woman had not won the lottery at all and could not pay for anything. Finally, she climbed into the limo and exited the scene.
That’s when angry customers, realizing they weren’t getting free coats, began throwing merchandise on the floor and grabbing clothes without paying for them, Nace said.
“Everybody was like, ‘I still want my free stuff,’ and that started the riot,” he said. “It looks like (Hurricane) Katrina went through the store.”
Police said they have no way of tracking down the customers who stole items and fled, but they’re reviewing surveillance video.
Here’s my point: the woman promised people free stuff but she couldn’t deliver. Even after learning that she had no money to pay for what she had promised, “Everybody was like, ‘I still want my free stuff.'” They thought that they were still entitled to free clothing even after learning that the promise was made fraudulently.
Which means that they think that someone owes them, cost be darned.
September 23, 2010 at 8:35 pm |
Entitlement mentality describes people who want something for nothing. This can include children and immature adults of all ethnic groups.
October 10, 2011 at 9:24 am |
A tale of 2 yiden…
One yid is ready to endure physical hardships, even to the extent of sitting in prison – just not to “maser” one a fellow yid (-mind you, this fellow yid may have infact broken the law…)
While another yid stalks out and even hires private investigators to find faults in a fellow yid and then runs to the authorities to “report” his findings….
Which of these 2 is the JEWISH way?
October 10, 2011 at 10:20 pm |
WIS wrote about this a long long time ago….Take a look
The Hypocrisy: Shomrim Six Mesira And Sholom Mordechai Rubashkin Lynch. Mesira Vs. Antisemitism, whats worse?
And
The Mossier: The Enemy Within
October 18, 2011 at 8:44 am |
Dear WIS,
First off, I want to take this opportunity to wish all my fellow yidden ah gutten moed. I want to tell you my story, as I hope the positive aspects can be repeated, and well, you know, the negatives, my sincerest wish, is that people please learn from it.
I grew up in Crown Heights. My father was a melamed, earning a simple living. We grew up understanding that earning a dollar meant hard work. Our parents gave us everything we needed. There were wants, and sometimes we got them, and sometimes we didn’t. Every little girl loves new Yom Tov clothing, and in our house the little girls were no exception.
When I was about 7 years-old, Mickey Mouse came to join us for Tishrei. OK, he wasn’t really Mickey Mouse, he just got that name because he made funny faces, and sounds. When he spoke they kept us entertained. Mickey Mouse, (I have no idea what his real name is) came along with a group of about 6 French bochurim, who slept in our basement.
They came to be with the Rebbe and were frum. Their chasidishkeit was a beautiful asset to our house when they came for meals. We loved them. They would sing in the sukkah, and Yom Tov was just incredible. They taught me how to sing the pasuk Bereishis in French. (Today over 30 years later, I still remember it.)
Yom Tov was expensive and we were not rich. Every year, my parents sat us kids down, and asked us to choose. Would we prefer 2 new outfits, for Yom Tov, and not have so many guests at the table, or would we be happy with one new outfit each. I don’t think any of us hesitated. We always answered that lots of guests were more exciting. That was because they really enhanced our Yomim Tovim.
I had heard horror stories about guests in the neighborhood, but we never had negative experience. Actually, it actually paid off: I would walk into 770, find the first contingent of French speaking girls, tell them my name, tell them how many boys we’re hosting, and I was inevitably hoisted up between them to be able to see the Rebbe, his Holy face shining and my heart swelling as I got to feel the real “Ashreinu Mah Tov Chelkenu.”
17 PEOPLE? NO BIG DEAL
I got married and moved out of town, so I was unable to continue my mother’s tradition of hosting meals. By Hashgocha Protis, and lots of brochos from the Rebbe, and incredibly good mazal for which I thank Hashem every day, I ended up back in Crown Heights.
I was ecstatic. This year, my husband built from scratch a beautiful sukkah. It was 18 feet long which mean we could host as many people as I could cook for!
Walking down the street, I bumped into two brothers we know who live out of the country. I asked them if they would like to come to me for a meal. They gratefully accepted. At the end of the conversation, they told me, by the way, “our family is here for sukkos, so we number 6 people not two. We hope that it’s ok with you.” I smiled and said sure. I quickly called one of my siblings who is fluent in the language of this families’ origin, and I invited him.
At that point my meal now numbered 17 people. No big deal. I was used to it. After all, I had a perfect role model in my mother. I got up erev Yom Tov and happily finished last minute sukkah preparations, and worked on my menus. I was on my feet the whole day in my kitchen. I was happy, ess kumt a yom tov oif der velt. A passing rain shower could not dim our excitement. Bubby and Zeidy are coming, the kids have arts and crafts to show, and I have a home to host guests.
I happened to see one of the brothers of the family I was hosting, and I confirmed with him, you are coming tonight, right? 6 of you, right? We finished our last minute things, (did you ever notice that when you forget one thing, and run into the store for it, you come out with 5 bags? I am no exception) and came home.
My husband and the kids came home from shul, closely followed by my brother and his wife, my parents and some nephews came next. The family still had not shown up. An hour later, I’m in the kitchen when my husband comes in with the news that the family has shows up accompanied by another 20 people.
I walked into the sukkah and there were a bunch of girls sitting, and the family and entourage standing outside because there was no room to come in. My heart fell. What was this? What was I supposed to do?
My husband said he’s doesn’t know. My mother started with a speech about rolling with punches. My father told me that he didn’t raise me to turn away a guest (tell me about it). My father even offers to leave and make a seudah by himself in a dark sukkah, abi nisht avek shikken a gast.
But sukkah cannot fit 40+ people and we simply didn’t have enough chairs. With the benches and the dining room table chairs upstairs, we would be able to host some of women upstairs. My mind was racing, not as fast as my heart, we didn’t know what to do.
Suddenly, I got angry.
I didn’t stand and cook, and prepare for Yom Tov so that inconsiderate people could ruin my meal. If my parents left, with my brother and his wife, that would open another 4 spaces at the table. I would have a tzushterteh meal, and I still would be sending at least 16 people away.
I looked at the two brothers I invited, and I asked them what they thought I could do. They said, listen, these are people from our city, and they only tried their luck. If you don’t have room, they will go back to Aishel (I will not go into the amount of fundraising calls I had from them to help feed the “Rebbe’s” orchim.)
There was another issue: We had a policy that we don’t host single boys and girls at the same meal. With a heavy heart, I just said, I am not having the (uninvited and unidentified) girls in my sukkah. Apparently, the boys decided that if the girls go, they are going too. We ended up with 10 instead of the group of 6. The meal progressed. It was beautiful. The singing in the sukkah was gorgeous. The niggunim, with the harmony was incredible. The compliments were flowing in, like you would imagine.
AFTERMATH
After the meal (everyone helped clean), when we were both alone in the kitchen, my husband said, “In the 43 years that I am alive, I have NEVER sent anyone away from my table.” Had he moved to Crown Heights to reach such a horrible milestone? I was miserable.
The next day, I went to my mom. I told her, that I could not sleep a whole night over this annoying story. Did I really send 20 people away from my sukkah? Who does that? I can not tell you the guilt I have had all Yom Tov. Every time I saw an extra piece of Gefilteh Fish, or some of that meals’ leftover roast, I felt bad. ‘Those guests could have eaten it.’
The next morning, as I left my house, I found a plate of food (leftover roasts and potatoes) the guests have left outside my house near the garbage for the neighborhood cats. I guess that is what the people do in their city. Really now, that was all I needed.
I came to shul embarrassed that I had to send guests from my house. People were smiling around me, they were enjoying simchas Yom Tov. I was enjoying bile in my throat that I sent guests away from my house. My friends saw that I was unusually quiet. They wanted to know what was wrong. I hung my head in shame. My friends looked at me like I was crazy. “Ein Oirach Machnis Oirach,” I was told over and over again. I vacillated between horrible shame, and righteous indignation.
One friend related an opposite experience. She was asked to host 20 girls. She said yes. No one showed up. She slaved for nothing. They excused themselves with the fact that this sukkah was so far from 770 (I will not go into the fact that they knew the address when they asked to be hosted).
My brother tried to tell me that these uninvited guests were “fine” with what happened. They are on vacation. I wanted to know since when mentchlichkeit goes on vacation. I am left with questions. I am not ‘Fine with it.” I really wasn’t. I still am not.
My simchas Yom tov, and that of my husband was seriously marred by this story. Since when does coming to Crown Heights to the “Rebbe” entitle people to act without thinking? Since when does coming to the Rebbe entitle people to ruin our Yom Tov? I am still uneasy.
FINAL NOTE
Please before you go commenting on WIS, just remember, the Rebbe wanted guests. He bentched us for the guests we hosted. I just wanted brochos when I invited the family. I hope I will still have that zchus of brochos for hosting the Rebbe’s guest.
I didn’t write this op-ed so that people can rant about how inconsiderate people are. Is it possible though to explain this to the people coming? You are coming to the Rebbe’s shchuna. Real people live here. Real people that are not on vacation.
Consideration for us goes a really long way. Perhaps the rabbis in the out of town communities who are encouraging these masses of guests can also encourage mentchlichkiet and etiquette. Ein Orach Machnis Orach is a halacha.
Oh, and we don’t feed neighborhood cats here – we feed people. You can reserve that for your own town. Please do not make this article into a source for Loshon Hora. I already feel bad enough about what happened.